Be Still My Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOus45dorPU I was "in the mood" for this song today.... Did a youtube search and lo and behold this version by Nicol Sponberg was there. She has been a favorite of mine for about a year now, love her voice, and I have followed her blog since the passing of her son. Then the Irony.... her 2 month old infant son that she lost to SIDS just so happened to leave this earth 1 year ago today. I think she needed this song today more than I. My daily dose of a reality check............

Memorial Weekend

We spent Memorial Weekend in St. George this year.....

had alot of fun with the kids, and the weather was great....

but I came home feeling a bit.... guilty, I guess is a word you could use...

Vacation purposes are not really the reason for the holiday... and the past 2 years we have used it for such.

I have missed out on the tradition of a family breakfast with my Dad's sister and her family.... and not to mention the opportunity to pay respect for those who have served us and those loved ones who have passed on before.

I still visited Cory's dad's grave, and our grandparents.... placed a flower arrangement, etc.... but not with the kids, nor with Cory. I missed that visit as a family....... next year I hope I can look back on this post, and remember how I felt, and make a choice that might make me feel a little better about the holiday in the week following.

However, we still had a wonderful time spent together as a family.... visiting the Johnson Dinosaur Park, Miniature Golfing, Tons of Swimming, and the new Night At The Museum 2 movie that was released. You can never go wrong with family time.... but maybe next time we'll choose to spend that time a little differently.

Daddy's "Mini Me"

It's no secret.... Gage Idolizes his Dad.... Here is just another example......

It doesn't matter what Cory is doing.... Gage has to be doing it too.

This was just too cute to pass up...

The Graduate

My baby girl graduated from preschool today.

Wow... I know we all say time flies too quickly... but I really swear this little girl was just born a year ago. It might have something to do with the fact that her brother came along so quickly, and unexpectedly, and I didn't have as much one on one time with her as I did her sisters... but either way... her mom is just not ready for kindergarten.

Ms. Nicole gave them a "Countdown to Kindergarten" packet with treats and books, etc.....

Kambree & her teacher Ms. Nicole

Just a few random pictures I took out in front of the house before we left for graduation.

She is totally in love with these kittens right now.... the minute she wakes in the morning, she is out on the patio to round one of them up so they can snuggle and watch cartoons til mom gets breakfast.

Oh, the innocence.... I wanna keep her just as she is for a long, long, time....

Missing In Action

Okay... this post will be a bit different from the usual. I was in the mood to blog (finally) yesterday.... and I woke up to a virus on my computer... so it is at Dr. Chad's... so no pics to blog about. So you are stuck with my thoughts..... Here goes...... 2009 started rough for me.... and it hasn't been getting any better. No one particular reason.... and I am well aware there are way more people out there with larger than life issues and problems. Not whining.... just venting... getting it all out. I am just plain burnt out. I am looking forward to summer.... no gymnastics, no music classes, no cheer, no preschool, no nothin. (and if I were being totally honest, I wish that could include Church.... but I know that would not be good for me or my family, so we'll keep doing that one) I am looking forward to my kids being home, for more help from my older girls, and just the "break" I think I need..... .....and then I watch the Grey's Anatomy Season Finale... (which was so totally good BTW)... and I love what the narrative had to say. So I rewound, paused, and wrote it all down. Been re-reading and pondering ever since: "When something begins you generally have no idea how it's going to end... the house you were going to sell becomes your home.... the roommates you were forced to take in become your family.... & the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.... We spend our whole lives worrying about the future. Planning for it... trying to predict it.... as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing... the future is the home of our deepest fears & our wildest hopes, but one thing is certain.... when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it. Doctors spend alot of time focused on the future - planning it - working toward it - but at some point you start to realize your life is happening NOW, not after med school, not after residency, RIGHT NOW - THIS IS IT - IT'S HERE - Blink and you'll miss it.

I LOVE YOU

I DONT EVER WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU

YOU CHANGED MY LIFE

Did you say it? Make a plan - set a goal - work toward it - but every now and then look around - drink it in - cuz this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow." So I keep reading this.... and I get more and more out of it. Here is just one of the things I have got from it: I need to suck it up, deal with life cuz it's happening NOW. Gage will only have one summer where he is 3.5.... next year he'll be 4.5 and he will want and be doing different things. Kristian is a teenager... how much longer is she going to want to do things with ME instead of her friends? Kassie is lively and spunky, fun and spirited... do I take advantage of that, and enjoy it enough? Do I encourage it, or discourage it more than I should... it could be one of her greatest qualities. Kambree is starting kindergarten.... I no longer have a baby girl... she is entering that stage in life where she will be making choices without me. So this is my conclusion.... my problem with 2009 has been all me. I have been "Missing In Action". My life is happening now.... and it will not wait for me to have some "burn out time". How often so we find ourselves saying... "If I can just get this over with"? Life is happening now.... and we can't be missing in action.

Kassie's #9

Kassie turned 9 on the 9th.... and we were in St. George.

So because of that... she went without the ususal balloons and family over for Cake and Ice Cream.

.....but she got to go have a mini Pedi with her best friend Hailee Jo, have dinner at the Mayan in SLC, and go to Build A Bear. Not to mention all the gifts she was spoiled with from everyone. I think by the looks of those smiles.... it was a success.

Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!

We Love You!

St. George May 09

Good Friends ~ Good Food ~ Good Times!

We were able to get away for a few days at the invitation of some great friends to St. George for some relaxation, sunshine, and fun!

It was great to have some time away from all the hectic things of life, and to just spend some quality time as a family, doing those things that we all love, and to not have a schedule! It just wasn't long enough... and we were not ready to come home!

Thanks to the Summers' family for the invite..... we had so much fun!