Missing In Action

Okay... this post will be a bit different from the usual. I was in the mood to blog (finally) yesterday.... and I woke up to a virus on my computer... so it is at Dr. Chad's... so no pics to blog about. So you are stuck with my thoughts..... Here goes...... 2009 started rough for me.... and it hasn't been getting any better. No one particular reason.... and I am well aware there are way more people out there with larger than life issues and problems. Not whining.... just venting... getting it all out. I am just plain burnt out. I am looking forward to summer.... no gymnastics, no music classes, no cheer, no preschool, no nothin. (and if I were being totally honest, I wish that could include Church.... but I know that would not be good for me or my family, so we'll keep doing that one) I am looking forward to my kids being home, for more help from my older girls, and just the "break" I think I need..... .....and then I watch the Grey's Anatomy Season Finale... (which was so totally good BTW)... and I love what the narrative had to say. So I rewound, paused, and wrote it all down. Been re-reading and pondering ever since: "When something begins you generally have no idea how it's going to end... the house you were going to sell becomes your home.... the roommates you were forced to take in become your family.... & the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.... We spend our whole lives worrying about the future. Planning for it... trying to predict it.... as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing... the future is the home of our deepest fears & our wildest hopes, but one thing is certain.... when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it. Doctors spend alot of time focused on the future - planning it - working toward it - but at some point you start to realize your life is happening NOW, not after med school, not after residency, RIGHT NOW - THIS IS IT - IT'S HERE - Blink and you'll miss it.

I LOVE YOU

I DONT EVER WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU

YOU CHANGED MY LIFE

Did you say it? Make a plan - set a goal - work toward it - but every now and then look around - drink it in - cuz this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow." So I keep reading this.... and I get more and more out of it. Here is just one of the things I have got from it: I need to suck it up, deal with life cuz it's happening NOW. Gage will only have one summer where he is 3.5.... next year he'll be 4.5 and he will want and be doing different things. Kristian is a teenager... how much longer is she going to want to do things with ME instead of her friends? Kassie is lively and spunky, fun and spirited... do I take advantage of that, and enjoy it enough? Do I encourage it, or discourage it more than I should... it could be one of her greatest qualities. Kambree is starting kindergarten.... I no longer have a baby girl... she is entering that stage in life where she will be making choices without me. So this is my conclusion.... my problem with 2009 has been all me. I have been "Missing In Action". My life is happening now.... and it will not wait for me to have some "burn out time". How often so we find ourselves saying... "If I can just get this over with"? Life is happening now.... and we can't be missing in action.

What will $144.00 dollars buy you?

32 Gallons of Gas......

After our Yard Work stint last night.... we were out of gas in everything. The 4-wheeler, the old Blue Truck, the mower was on E.... and no gas left in the shed. So Cory and I took a little trip to town to fill all our gas cans. ONE HUNDRED FORTY FOUR DOLLARS! Just to keep around for all those little things! Ridiculous! Absurd! Appalling! A Freakin' Joke! {{Are a few things that come to mind}} $4.15 a Gallon. What about you? What are you paying for Gas in your neck of the woods?

Giving In....

.... I finally decided to do it. I told myself when my desktop died, I would not save pictures to the laptop. It would just make for more work later to save them to a disk, and transfer them to my computer, or now to the new one. I GAVE IN. Just to myself, but still, I can't take it anymore. All of my cards for my cameras are full of pictures, so i can't even take another picture unless I start deleting. I have done that, and I am not willing to delete any more. The rest I want to keep. So here I go.... Officially blogging from the laptop. Pictures and all. (So scroll down.... the new posts are dated according to the time they happened, therefore, are mixed in with posts you have already read.) We ordered a new computer last night. So hopefully, in another 2 weeks I will get things back to the way I am used to. :)

Twilight Guy...

.... for those of you with husbands who openly (and secretly) read Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, you might want to share with them this website just for guys..... http://twilightguy.com. It made me laugh. You might enjoy it too. As for Cory.... I still don't think he would be convinced to read it..... but it's worth a try. After all, I did attend a whole weekend of Nascar just for him, you would think reading a book for his wife might be easy! :0) I found this link through another blog. The guy named C.H. emailed the web author with some comments and the author published his comments on the website. You can read them from the April 28th post. Too Funny!!